Walk with Him: Mesha Robbins

 

How do I walk with Christ?

MESHA ROBBINS, STONE CREEK

By asking Him to walk with me. By including Him in my day to day choices & activities. By giving Him my burdens.

Life is difficult & like others, I have had multiple challenging experiences, including multiple deaths, same-sex attraction challenges in my family, health & money issues, starting when I was a teenager. I was becoming bitter & angry at everything going on & my mom (who herself was struggling with the scope of everything going on) challenged me to practice gratitude & find Christ in my life. It took a few years but this exercise changed my testimony & I learned to lean on Him as a young woman & through my mission to Bolivia & as a nurse.

Fast forward many years, through getting married & having children & getting stuck in survival mode with the busyness of life & some of the habits I gained as a young woman fell out of practice. Add an out of state move & new job & COVID & survival mode really kicked in. Then in early 2021 my youngest sister died of cancer (she was 34), she was a young mother of 4 children, the youngest wasn't even 1. Then my mom passed away 8 months later, also from cancer (she was 68). I found myself again in a dark place, struggling to understand the fairness of life & where God's mercy fits in. My years of being a nurse in hospitals caring for critically ill patients came crashing down on me, vividly recalling all the very difficult situations I had been placed in, adding to my sorrow & empty feelings about life's lack of fairness.

I found myself at a crossroads again & remembered that conversation with my mom so many years before that changed my life as a teenager & I knew what I needed to do.
Go back to Him. Place my burdens upon Him. I was drowning. It didn't happen overnight, but He carried me, He pulled me up & walked with me the moment I turned to Him. He didn't take my grief, sorrow & heartache away, but He helped me carry it.
In fact, He carried pretty much all of it. He helped me see His & Heavenly Father's mercy & love through the "infuriating unfairness".

I'm not perfect at asking Him to walk with me, but He helps me with that too. When I need help with the challenges my children are now facing, when I'm not sure how to help the Hospice patients I now see, when I'm feeling frustrated towards my husband for whatever reason. Jesus Christ is my brother & my friend & when I ask Him to walk with me, He is always there.